Recently, I have been wrestling with the question of whether a “Man” can ever grow and mature in life if he doesn’t have accountability. The Bible in Genesis 2:18 says “It is not good for man to be alone”. When a man is left alone, we usually do a lot of stupid things, we tend to not fare well when left alone by ourselves. We need accountability but tend to avoid it.
The avoidance often is predicated on the thought that if I let you get close to me will you be willing to accept me for WHO I AM. When I present my vulnerable self to you, are you going to cover me and help me to become strong, or will you wound me with my own truth? Will you expose me to public shame and humility? Men and especially boys need to feel safe and protected just like women. When the element of protection is missing in our lives, it causes us to be closed off and creates a need in us to protect ourselves, we avoid being exposed in moments of vulnerability and transparency with other men. Yet this key element is essential to our lives, because God did not create us to be independent of one another, but he made us to be dependent on each other. As one song writer said, “I need you, you need me, were all a part of Gods body”.
One of the greatest and most heartwarming relationships in the Bible is the story of Jonathan who was the son of Saul the King and David the man the bible records, was a man after Gods own heart.
The Bible records the relationship between Jonathan and David in 1Samuel 18:1-3 “As soon he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Johnathan was knit to the soul of David, and Johnathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day and would not let return to his father’s house. Then Johnathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as his own soul. Their relationship was powerful and so are any relationship when a man gives his whole heart. Later, Johnathan dies, and David becomes king and was tempted in his flesh and slept with another man’s wife and David impregnated this married woman. Her husband was a great warrior in David’s army, so to cover up his weakness, versus having it exposed. David had this woman’s husband sent to the heat of battle and killed. My point in sharing this story is that I don’t believe that any of these would have transpired had Johnathan still been alive. David had no one to be Accountable to. When David first saw this man’s wife and was tempted there was no one he could talk to about it, he was all alone. Vulnerable and weak in the flesh he gave into the temptation because there was no one to hold him accountable for the thoughts and actions that he was perceiving. How many men have failed miserably because of their unwillingness to be accountable in their moments of weakness, to ask for help in a time of need? This scenario needs to be changed men. We need to shift the paradigm and begin to hold one another accountable through the good and bad times, this is how we grow and can avoid the pitfalls of life.